ARE MOMMIES SOFT AND PINK INSIDE

About 7 years ago as part of a creative writing class we were given an exercise to do. Write from the perspective of another person.  Of the choices we had I chose A young american girl, the daughter of a single mother struggling to get by.

ARE MOMMIES SOFT AND PINK INSIDE

“Mommy, mommy, wake up mommy please wake up. I gotta get ready for school”     “Oh God what time is it Sandy?”

Its 7.45 mommy, we gotta get breakfast and get me ready for school and you ready for work”

“Oh shit 7.45 God no not again. I’m so sorry Sandy.”                                 

“Come on mom, you gotta get up now I’ll go put the kettle on and make some strong, hot, black coffee just the way you like it

Well here we are again another one of those days when I wish we had a daddy here to help us get organized. Poor mom she works long hard hours just to buy us food and clothes and keep a roof over our heads. Hey God are you listening to me up there? I know right now I’m a little girl but do you think you could fix it so that I can grow up to be a man. Men have a great life and they are kind of magic people, they can just disappear out of peoples lives never to be seen again, like my dad did before I was born.

Are you a man, God? Can you work Magic too? Well I have to go mom’s coming and I have things to do. Catch you later.

“Mmmm, Sandy that coffee smells real good. Be a pet and see if you can find mommies paper and tobacco. Then after I have my morning nicotine fix I’ll scramble you some eggs on toast.”

“Ok. Mom that’s a deal”

I love watching mom as she carefully rolls a perfectly smooth round white tube neatly filled with tobacco. Then as she strikes a match and inhales deep, a smile of relief spreads across her troubled face. Next a big sup from her steaming mug of coffee. As she sighs, her whole body and face relax as if letting go of some huge burden. Sitting there in the morning sun enjoying her first fix of the day, she looks so much softer now, peaceful and serene. Surrounded by a cloud of smoke, with beams of sunlight shining through it, she looks radiant like an angel in the mists. What a transformation from the tired worried looking woman in the bed. Is that why she calls it her morning fix, I wonder, because it fixes her beauty, fixes her mood, fixes her energy fixes everything.

Rising now to fix my eggs she pauses to kiss my forehead. “I love you Sandy.”

“I love you too mommy.”

 My thoughts drift to angels.  

Do they just float around all day looking pretty?, Hey God are you listening again? Forget the man idea maybe you could make me into an angel instead. 

Then I could wear a pretty pink dress to match my beautiful pink wings. I’d be the prettiest pinkest angel in heaven.

“Sandy pet are you day dreaming again? Here, now sit up and eat your eggs before they get cold”

“Ok thanks mommy”

“Now Sandy while you eat breakfast I’m going for my shower then you get dressed. We need to get going or I’ll be late and I’ll get sacked.”

“Mom will I get sacked from school if I’m late?”

“No dear, no you wont”

Beep! Beep! “Sandy there’s Mrs. Johnston, run along now don’t keep her waiting. I’ll collect you at 6.30. Be a good girl.  I love you Sandy bye.”

“Bye mommy. See you this evening. I love you mom bye."

“Hi Mrs. Johnson”

“Hello Sandy”

"Hi Amy, Hi Nora, Hi Jake.”

“Hi Sandy”

I love Mrs. Johnson’s car. It’s so big you could live in it. There’s lots of room for us kids to play in the back on the way to school. A couple of times she has to tell us kids to quieten down so as she can concentrate. She scolds you in a gentle sort of way. I wish she was my grandmother. I don’t have a grandmother or grandfather. Me and Mom all we have is each other in this big old world.

I love school, the teachers, my friends, learning new stuff, outings to museums, the zoo and playparks al these things are fun. But then when I get home with mom in the evening she is tired after working hard all day, so tired sometimes we don’t get to play much. But I know she loves me lots she gives me lots of cuddles and when she makes extra money on tips she buys me nice clothes and things. Like that pretty soft pink jumper she bought me last month. Pure lambswool mom said and it feels so soft against my skin. Sometimes when I feel sad or lonely I put it on and snuggle up in a ball in mom’s arms. I feel safe and warm and loved, then I don’t fee l quite so bad anymore. Its like I’m wrapped in a special pink cloud of love. I sometimes wonder are mommies soft and pink inside, I asked her once and it made her smile so sweetly I wished I had a camera to take her picture. She reckoned maybe we are soft and pink inside maybe that’s the way God makes us girls. You know something, I really should know what mommy is like inside because I came out of her tummy. But no matter how hard I try I can’t remember what it was like in there. When I’m old enough I’m going to have a baby then I can ask her am I soft and pink inside.

“Sandy wake up its time to gather your books and catch your lift to your childminders house”

Gosh, I must have been daydreaming I missed most of the lesson. Well just a few hours in crèche then mom will collect me and we will go home on the bus.

I love it on the bus all those different people, going different places, me and mom going home together. She always has lots to tell me about the people she works with and the characters that come in to eat in her restaurant. Mom is real smiley and chatty today.  It’s been a while since she was this happy she even seems less tired than usual.

She is telling me about her day, which was pretty normal until about 2.30, when she looked up from the table she was cleaning and she couldn’t believe her eyes. George Clooney had just walked in.

“Mom is he as gorgeous as he is on T.V. “

Yes Sandy he is”

“Wow mom did he talk to you?”

“Yes he did, he asked for a table in a quiet corner and a menu. My heart was pounding George Clooney in here alone.  Anyhow he just ordered coffee and donuts. I asked him how come he was in here. He smiled sweetly at me and invited me to sit and chat. So I sat across from him mesmerized. He said he was in town filming and he just needed to chill for a while. He began walking and spotted this place and came in. I listened as he chatted aimlessly his voice music to my ears. Then it was time for him to go.  He thanked me for listening. Wow George Clooney thanking me.  He said it was so nice just to be able to be himself and just chat. As I handed him his coat he gave me a hundred dollars and said keep the change. He smiled such a warm smile I almost melted then he kissed me lightly on the lips and he was gone.”

“Wow mom a hundred dollars “

“Yes and a kiss from George Clooney. Well Sandy tomorrow is Saturday and we are going shopping”

“Oh yes mom yes can I get that beautiful dress I spotted in the shop window last week”

“Yes Sandy you can have anything you like”

“I love you mommy”

“I love you too Sandy”

“Hey mom if George Clooney kissed you is he kinda like your boyfriend?”

 Mom burst out laughing at this.

“ No, unfortunately he’s not, where do you get these notions anyway Sandy? Come on the next stop is ours.”

“Were getting Chinese takeaway I’m too tired to cook”

“Cool mom I love Chinese”

After dinner, lying on moms’ big bed, cuddling and chatting, she tells me about George Clooney allover again. Her big brown eyes soft and a little misty too. But so soft I know now for sure that my mommy is soft and pink inside.

“Hey mom I love you”

I’m falling asleep already as she kisses me so softly on the head I feel so loved and warm in her arms.

Hey God are you listening, thanks for making mommies so soft and pink inside.   

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Letting go of special people can be hard.

                              Kalyanee

K ind, Kalyanee, a compassionate, caring dove.

A h, Kalyanee, you are so easy to love. And I,

L ove you Kalyanee , since first we did meet.

Y ou, Kalyanee , and your soul’s essence so sweet.

A las, Kalyanee, it is time to bid you adieu, but,

N ever, Kalyanee, will I forget you.

E ven, Kalyanee, if we are miles apart.

E vermore, Kalyanee , you will be in my heart.

SINEAD O'CONNOR

S weet child I feel the pain that I see in your eyes.

I n you songs, I can hear your impassioned cries.

N othing has touched me quite like you.

E ven the controversial things you do.

A ll you sing and say and share.

D epicts some deeply hidden fear.

O h, how I wish I could help you attain.

C almness of soul and freedom from pain.

O h lonely, lovely lady, I hear your silent cry.

N ow don't get me wrong, I don't mean to pry.

N o point in that, it would lead to nowhere.

O nly your peace of mind it's for that, that I care.

R elinquish your past with it's sorrows and tears,

 embrace tomorrow without any fears.

CHERISHED THOUGHTS

It was four years ago today, I watched my Daddy die

There were no words that I could say, I could only cry.

With all those painful questions going round my head.

Why couldn't God have spared him and taken me instead.

It hurt so much to watch as he fought to hold onto life.

He didn’t want to leave his family or his wife.

It's hard to grasp the fact that he's no longer here

But in some strange way I can still feel him quite near.

I am glad that I was sober as his life it ebbed away.

It was an honour to be there, holding hands on his final day.

There are times I'd love to have him back to have a little talk.

Or to go to Dollymount for a sunny Sunday walk.

To watch him fill his pipe and smoke it sure and slow.

How I loved those Sunday evenings, to the local pub we'd go.

The stories that he told of life when he was a boy.

To hear him tell them now would fill my heart with joy.

Don't be afraid to ask questions, I often heard him say.

Like so much good advice he dispensed along his way.

I know it wasn't all rosy no life can ever be.

But the good times are the ones most cherished by me.

He lived his life simply and didn't intend harm to anyone.

And today I am proud of the fact that I'm his son.

Although there is a void deep  inside of me.

I can fill it with memories of what used to be.

GOLDEN YEARS GODDESS

Tenderly look back upon the child,

with her tiny childhood tears,

whilst smiling a sweet smile for her,

in the wisdom of your fifty golden years.

Let your heart softly speak to the girl,

with her terrible teenage fears,

whispering your kind regard for her,

in the wisdom of your fifty golden years.

Gently embrace the young lady,

who believed that love always disappears,

cherish now fond thoughts for her,

in the wisdom of your fifty golden years.

Look kindly upon the woman of middle age,

who felt trapped, perhaps, by life's many snares,

as into freedom you walk with her

in the wisdom of your fifty golden years.

Realise in your wisdom today,

that on the horizon as a Goddess appears,

its you Una, you are her,

with all the beauty of your fifty golden years.

So let your inner Goddess shine her light,

on all your future cares,

as you walk hand in hand with her,

in the beauty and the wisdom of all your golden years.

I wrote this poem for my wife on the occasion of her 50th birthday.

Left Handers Day, August 13th - Official Site

Left Handers Day, August 13th - Official Site: "Happy Left-Handers Day!"

PRECIOUS LOVE. TURNED GOLD

Sitting in the chapel as they played Amazing Graze,

So touched by this moment tears were on my face.

For perhaps it was just such a special moment,

When your love first took hold.

And now fifty years later your love is turning Gold.

I feel both honoured and awe-struck

Sharing with you Charlie and Kay,

In this beautiful celebration of your very Special Day.

It is so wonderful to see two people,

With so much love to give,

An inspiration in a world of broken dreams

In which so many live.

You've reached a goal to which many have aspired,

But sadly never reached

Because their love grew old and tired.

And your love, it is still growing

but never growing old,

Because fifty years of growing has turned

Your love to Gold.

Thank you for the insight that you both show

Of what can be achieved when love's allowed to grow.

And I'm sure if God is looking down

From Heaven above,

He is smiling on you both and on

Your precious Golden Love.